Things this summer have been off and on with Sora. I've been mainly unmotivated to work with her which I completely hate but I think I was just kind of burnt out and also getting used to working full time and living on my own and all that comes with not having more than one person to share chores with. I've gone through a second "crisis" of wanting to sell her and at that point decided that something needed to change.
Right after listing her for sale I went up to the stable and took her out to ride, she was perfect, and just as I was climbing on things at the barn went crazy! Four horse trailers pulled in, a horse that was getting loaded across from the ring tried to climb out of the trailer through the window and got halfway, people ran to help the horse while screaming?, and three young horses in the drylots right next to the ring started racing around in a panic. While all of this was happening Sora stood calmly for me to mount and than gave me an on the buckle pony ride around the ring only watching all of these scary things with a calm face.
I found out later that all these people were coming for a group lesson, one that a Dressage instructor teaches, that I have been invited to multiple times. I was always concerned about what her expectations would be especially since Sora is so green and although I was invited to ride that day Sora was not moving off my legs at all which would be scary in a ring of horses so I decided to dismount and watch the lesson instead.
Long story short I was really impressed and decided to ride in the next and after some more thought I came up with and idea. I am going to plan on riding her in every lesson and working on her as much as possible between. I am also going to try to keep up more with AND and change my training techniques just a little. In the spring after all of these changes and work I will make a decision either way and no matter what I will stick to it.
The real issue is that I know I tend to give up on things rather than struggling through them :/ However I am weighing this in my decision about what to do with Sora and while I know that this is an issue I also know that I have some other valid points. Currently I am just not sure I am up, mentally, to having a horse that is as spooky and athletic as Sora is. Also I am really struggling with what I ultimately want to do as far as riding. When I bought Sora I was looking for a Dressage prospect but things have vastly changed and now I am undecided about exactly what type of riding I am interested in. I am jealous of the people with the calm horses that can go out trail riding and yet at the same time know that I would get bored of that pretty quickly.
Ultimately I really would like to keep Sora. I think I just need to commit to spending more time with her. Even through all of this I love her more than anything and when I go to see her and she screams at me, comes galloping up lowers her head and does that mommy throaty nicker to me it tears my heart out. I just really want to do the right thing for both of us.